Cruel Love Read online

  “Yes, you can.” I step forward, reaching out to cup her face. “Dani, look at me.”

  She struggles, her bottom lip trembling wild. Finally, she raises her head and I smile at her beautiful eyes. The whites shimmer in the dark as I rest my forehead against hers.

  “When this is all over, I will come get you, Dani. I promise.”

  Her tears fall down her cheeks. “Don’t you dare die on me, Fox.”

  My heart lurches. “I won’t.”

  “I can’t go through that again—”

  “I know.” I kiss her forehead to try and stop my lips from trembling. “I’m coming back. You won’t get rid of me that easily, all right?”

  Another line of warm tears tumbles over my fingers. She holds her breath to try and keep the rest back, but I feel them fall anyway. I pull her in, and she wraps her arms around my neck.

  “Fox...” Her voice cracks, locked behind a sudden intake of air.

  “Don’t worry about me, Dani,” I say, holding her close. “There’s a reason why these bastards haven’t been able to kill me yet. And Luka...” I lean back and wipe the tears from her eyes. “The man we’re going to see. He’s killed more agents than I have. So when I say don’t worry, I mean it. I’m coming home. We are coming home. You can count on that.”

  She nods and manages to take in a full breath. “Okay.”

  “And when we do...” I kiss the tip of her nose. “I’m going to marry you.”

  Her grin surfaces. “My dad is so gonna kill you,” she says.

  “You let me worry about Bennett.”

  My ankles bounce, signaling a need for me to start moving but my feet stay glued to the ground. It’s time to go. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone but the sooner we get started, the sooner I know she’s safe. Right here, now, with me… she’s not safe.

  I try to move again but her face keeps me here. Her bright, longing eyes. Thick, red lips. Pale and perfect skin. I run my fingers through her hair again just to feel the warmth of her scalp. I have to go. I have to go but I can’t make myself walk away yet.

  I kiss her, tasting a mix of salty tears and natural sweetness on her lips. My nose twitches with the faint scent of apples. I inhale as much of her as I can in case it’s the last time I’ll ever get to.

  I draw her left hand toward me to get a good look at that ring. It fits her perfectly, in size and style.

  “It’s beautiful,” she says, sniffing.

  “It had to be,” I say. “I wasn’t about to be the guy who proposed to Roxie Roberts with an ugly ring.”

  She laughs. “Makes sense.” She embraces me again, filling her lungs with me as I did with her. “Fox, if something happens...”

  “You’ll be taken care of,” I say. “I’ll make sure of it.” I lean back to look her in the eye again. “Nothing will ever hurt you again, Dani. Once this is all over, I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

  Her gaze falls for no more than a second. “I’ll wait for you,” she says. “Again.”

  I kiss her, letting our lips linger for longer than necessary. “I love you, Dani,” I whisper.

  She looks up at me and wipes the tears off her face. “I love you, too, Fox,” she says, her voice strong.

  This is where we’d say goodbye if this were any other day for any other purpose. But this isn’t goodbye. This isn’t a casual see you later either. This is a pact. A promise to meet here again and be with each other forever. Goodbye doesn’t cover that. I love you, on the other hand. That does.

  We let go and I walk across the bedroom to the door.

  The hallway is dark and cold, a stark contrast to our bedroom in every way. I turn back to get another good look at her. She holds that smile on her face, though I know the second I walk out of here, she’ll fall to pieces. Dani is an excellent actress but I’m her biggest fan. I can see when she’s faking it.

  I force my own smile and close the door behind me.

  I’ll be back, Danielle Roberts.

  I go down the stairs, taking in the details of our house. Flashes of memory nearly knock me down to my knees. That time we made love on the staircase. How she used to peek on me in the shower. All those times I’d say her name just to hear her voice when she responded. Signs of a normal, happy life.

  And friends. Hanging out downstairs with Boxcar and Caleb, catching up and drinking just a little too much. Dani snorting with laughter over stories of Caleb swindling the other soldiers at arm wrestling in the barracks.

  I wish I got just a little more time to act normal. It felt pretty good.

  I freeze my stride before I reach the bottom. I point an ear in the direction of the kitchen. A soft shuffle. I know I heard it.

  There’s somebody else in the house.

  Chapter 9

  Fox

  I reach for the gun stashed behind my back, running on pure instinct as I descend the rest of the way down. My heels touch the floor, but I rely on my training to keep them quiet.

  Another sound twitches my senses. A soft tapping noise. Quick and familiar.

  I ease forward, using all of my stealth training to silently release the safety on my gun. There’s an exhale of breath from the kitchen counter. A cup taps down. A chair nudges along the floor.

  I poke my head in, ready for anything. My finger cradles the trigger, adding a pound of pressure. Just one twitch and I’ll end whoever this is who thought he could just wander into my fucking house.

  “Hey, Fox.”

  I roll my eyes at him sitting at my kitchen table. “Dammit, Box...”

  Boxcar barely glances up at me from his laptop and reaches for the travel cup sitting beside him.

  I flick the safety back on and drop the gun on the table. “What are you doing here?”

  “Needed someplace quiet to work,” he says. “My Boston buddy says he’ll make all the docs we need for Lucy. Just need to send him a photo ASAP.”

  I nod. “And this guy can be trusted?”

  “Yeah. Well, I mean...” He turns up his hands. “About as much as a professional con artist can be trusted but we’ve done plenty of business together before. Should be all right. But, if not, you know... we’re probably all gonna die anyway.”

  I’d expect nothing less than gallows humor from Boxcar at a time like this, but I can’t blame him for it. I’m barely coping right now myself.

  I glance around the kitchen. “How did you get in here?” I ask.

  “I built your security system,” he says with a shrug. “I’ll fix it before I leave.”

  “Fortify it if you can, please...”

  His eyes scrape the ceiling. “Dani’s staying behind?”

  “Yeah, for a little bit.”

  “A little bit?”

  “She’s packing a bag,” I say, one ear on the ceiling. I haven’t heard her moving yet, meaning she may have gotten back into bed. I don’t want to stop to picture the tears on her face. If I do, I might not be able to stop myself from going right back up there. “She’s getting out of dodge.”

  “To where?” he asks.

  “Anywhere.”

  “Good.” He closes his laptop with a dull thud. “Caleb can keep her company.”

  “Caleb’s going to Russia.”

  “No, she’s not,” he says. “Caleb isn’t going with us and that’s final.”

  “That’s what?” I chuckle.

  “My foot is down on this one, Fox.”

  “Look, man, if you’re trying to play the concerned husband card, you might as well burn it. This is Caleb Fawn we’re talking about here.”

  “Oh, believe me, I’m more than a little accustomed to my wife running head-first into dangerous situations with zero regard for her own life,” he pauses, “but this is different.”

  I lean forward. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s up?”

  Boxcar inhales sharply, holding it for a second before letting it go. “She’s gonna kill me for telling you this,” he says.

  “Box, what’s goin
g on?”

  He clears his throat. “Caleb is pregnant.”

  My lips twitch. “You’re kidding.”

  “I wish.”

  “That’s amazing, Box. Congrats, man.”

  He furrows his brow in annoyance. “Okay, I’m going to let that last for another few seconds before you get to where I am right now.”

  The knee-jerk excitement passes. My best friend is having a baby. The same best friend who happens to be the best soldier I ever served with. Her skills and insight will come in handy in the days ahead... but at what expense?

  “You’re right,” I say, sitting back. “She can’t come.”

  “Thank you,” he says. “Now, you go tell her that because everything I’ve said hasn’t quite gotten through to her.”

  “What makes you think I can get through to her?”

  “Because she listens to you, Fox.”

  I scoff. “Since when?”

  “Since always. Look, I’m not an idiot. I know my place in her life. I might be her husband but you’re her partner. I take full responsibility for that. I haven’t exactly been there for her the last two years, but...” He looks down. “I can’t let her go with you. When I think she will, I feel like I might vomit. Caleb Fawn is carrying my baby. I’m going to be a father...”

  I stare at the dawning fear in his eyes. “You should probably stay with them, too.”

  He shakes his head. “No, you need someone to watch your back. And I still feel sort of…” He pauses, exhaling hard. “I still feel responsible for this, in a way.”

  “Because of Afghanistan?” I ask. He nods. “That wasn’t your fault, Box.”

  “If I had stood up to Marilyn when I had the chance, you wouldn’t have been recruited.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  “We don’t not know that.”

  “If things had happened even just a little bit differently, you could be dead and they could have recruited Caleb instead,” I point out. “You ask me, things happened in the best way possible.”

  He laughs softly. “Do you think she could do what you’ve done? Be a Snake Eyes agent?”

  “I hope not… but put a gun to anyone’s head, you’d be surprised at what they’re capable of.”

  “I hear that.” He stares at the wall behind me. “If the things I know can help, even just a little bit, then I want to be there. Caleb will understand that. She may not like it but she’ll understand.”

  “You sure it’s worth it?”

  “I’m sure I’ll find out.”

  “When did you find out?” I ask. “About the baby, I mean.”

  His brow twitches, temporarily taken back. “Last night,” he answers slowly. “Just before everything went down but we didn’t even have a chance to celebrate before Archer showed up. Or, I think we would have celebrated. Haven’t gotten a straight answer from her on how she feels about it yet.” He looks at me. “That’s another reason why I came here to stew this morning. Seemed fitting. The kid was probably conceived upstairs in your guest bedroom…”

  I squint, uncomfortable. “Man, Caleb is like a sister to me, so could you not?”

  “Fuck, dude! Have you ever spent extended time with a woman who didn’t become like a sister to you?”

  “Well…” I blink twice, thinking hard. “No, actually…”

  Boxcar turns up his hands, vindicated. “Anyway, how did you convince Dani to stay behind?”

  “That was easy.” I shrug. “Dani’s not built for something like this, but Caleb...”

  He slides his laptop into his bag and stands up. “Well, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he says. “She’s in the back room of her shop right now inventorying her guns.”

  I breathe a laugh. Only Caleb Fawn would do that to chill at six in the morning.

  “Box, you may have been gone for the last two years but so was I. It’s not about time spent with her. It’s what you do with it. Don’t forget which one of us banged her in the back of a jeep after three weeks in the desert.”

  “Ahh,” he says, cracking a stiff smile. “Simpler times.”

  He turns and walks off. After a few moments, I hear the security system chime on and the front door closes behind him.

  I turn an ear to the ceiling again, hoping to hear the soft shuffle of Dani’s feet, but…

  No. I shouldn’t. If I hear even the slightest sniff or sob, I won’t be able to…

  I stand up, boots digging into the floor as I make my way toward the front door.

  A light came to me. And with it, a new life.

  Tomorrow, it may come to you.

  Sofia was right in the end.

  I just wish it lasted just a little bit longer.

  Chapter 10

  Caleb

  I was never meant to be a mother.

  There. I said it.

  You’d think a girl like me would have all the courage in the world to say something like that. I’ve fought in wars. I’ve taken on men nearly three times my size. And won.

  I am woman. Hear me roar.

  I just never thought for a second that anyone would ever call me Mommy.

  But it doesn’t matter. There’s no time to think about that right now. Fox is in trouble. His past has caught up to him and he needs my help. That’s more important. Also, my husband has officially been dragged into it, too. Cue my complete lack of surprise.

  Eleven long guns. Twenty pistols of various sizes and shapes. Four hundred rounds. It’s not bad. Could be better. But not bad.

  I glance around my shop’s back room from my spot on the floor. There was a time when Fawn’s Pawn was the best place to go to buy and trade under the table. Sure, it wasn’t always kosher in a legal sense, but it kept my water turned on. Can’t say I’m proud of it. Can’t say I regret it, though.

  Clearly, that part of my life is over. I can’t be an illegal arms dealer with a baby balanced on my hip.

  Or can I?

  I push the question away. That’s not what’s important right now.

  The back exit opens and closes. A pair of boots wander in from the hall, but I don’t tense up. I have an ear for movement and his walk hasn’t changed since the day I met him.

  “Fox, I’m over here.”

  He follows my voice and pauses in the doorway.

  “Hey,” he greets.

  His brow creases as he looks around, leaving more than a few lines between his eyes. He’s aged over the last few years. We all have, obviously, but you can really see the bullshit he’s been through behind his expression.

  “You okay?” I ask as I lay a rifle down by my side.

  “Could be better, I guess,” he answers.

  I push off the floor. “That’s to be expected.” I gesture around. “So, how are we doing this Boston thing? Fly or road trip? It’ll be easier to travel armed if we go by road, but time would definitely be an issue…”

  “Caleb,” he says, his voice falling.

  “What?”

  His brow creases even more. “I think it’d be best if you stayed here with Dani.”

  I scoff. “Yeah, right.”

  “No, I mean it.” He shifts on his toes. “This might get dangerous and you—”

  “Goddammit,” I mutter, feeling a tepid rage boil beneath my skin.

  “What?” he asks.

  “He told you, didn’t he?”

  Fox looks down. “Don’t be mad at Box, Cal. He just wants what’s best for you. To keep you safe.”

  “Pretty sure I’m the only one who gets to vote on what’s best for me.”

  “And I would never claim otherwise… but—”

  “No buts, Fox. You can’t trust these people and I’m not letting you get dragged back down to the hell you already climbed out of.”

  “I get that,” he says. “But if something happens to you, something that could easily have been avoided…”

  “Ditto.”

  He laughs. “I’m not making any progress here, am I?”

  “Not really
, no.”

  “Okay.” He takes a step into the room. “How are you feeling?”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m fine.”

  “You know, when Box told me, I got the clearest image in my head of what that kid will look like. I don’t know about you, Caleb, but I can’t wait to meet them.”

  I look down. “That makes one of us, then.”

  He shrugs. “What are you scared of?”

  “I’m not scared, I just...” I glance up into his knowing eyes. “Okay, fine. I’m terrified. I don’t know the first thing about parenthood. I can field strip an M16 in fourteen seconds, but I have no idea how to change a dirty diaper.”

  “You learned how to strip a rifle,” he says, smiling. “You’ll learn how to change a diaper.”

  “And Boxcar? I mean... can you imagine him wearing a kid in one of those wrap things? Loading up a car seat?”

  “Actually, yeah.”

  I squint. “Come on.”

  “Really. I can,” he says. “I think Boxcar deserves a little more credit than you give him. He might not be teaching anyone how to throw a football, but he’ll step up when necessary.”

  I pause mid-pace and lean my back against the wall. “Or he’ll take off again.”

  He shakes his head. “No, he won’t.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’d shoot him, and he knows it.”

  I laugh. “Good point.”

  Fox shifts closer to stand beside me. “Box is going to be great dad,” he says. “You are going to be a great mom. And I am going to do everything I can to make sure that happens.”

  I glare at him. “Fox...”

  “Caleb, there are two people in this world that I would travel to the ends of the earth and back for. One is Dani, that goes without saying. The other is you. We’ve fought together, bled together. You were my family when I didn’t have one. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.” He cracks a smile. “And hey, when all of this is over, who knows? Maybe your kid will grow up with my kid. That doesn’t sound so bad, right?”

  My lips twitch as the image creeps into my mind. “Sounds pretty neat, actually.”